


transference

by estherroberts



Category: Ars Paradoxica (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Princess AU, i guess ???, what is this kind of thing normally called
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 21:06:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13349526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estherroberts/pseuds/estherroberts
Summary: esther has been avoiding her duties as a royal for longer than is probably healthy, and bridget is getting really tired of hearing about how heroic her ex's adventures are.





	transference

**Author's Note:**

> this is a present for theneverlandarchitect, whomst i adore with my whole heart even though she calls me "silly egg" and is often deliberately obtuse. 
> 
> happy birthday danni! <3

the Record-Keeper strode up to the top of the tower and wiped the sweat from her brow. it’d been a long journey and her legs ached nearly as much as her heart did. she wasn’t quite sure what she meant to say when she saw the Princess, but it certainly wasn’t what she said. what she said was, “you reckless, idiotic, FOOL!”

the Princess turned her head, and when her eyes fell on the Record-Keeper’s, she melted. “oh. hello.”

“no. listen to me.” the Record-Keeper took a breath. “how DARE you.”

“how dare i?” the Princess laughed. “how dare i what, exactly?”

“how dare you…” the Record-Keeper sputtered for a moment. “how dare you abandon your people, how dare you endanger so many lives, how dare you endanger yourself, for heaven’s sake, i swear…”

“i am… the most well regarded hero in all the realm.”

“impressive,” the Record-Keeper quipped, her harsh tone disguising the fact that she was, in fact, quite impressed. “but at what cost?”

“there has been none so far. i mean to say,” the Princess grinned, and when she did so, the Record-Keeper could see every single scar that glimmered across her face. “i mean i have protected countless villages, saved many a maiden, and even slayed a dragon!”

“the past perfect tense of slay is slain.”

“i know that. i just wanted to hear you correct me.”

the Record-Keeper remained silent, doing her best not to heave a heavy sigh.

“why have you come?” asked the Princess. “it surely isn’t to tell me that my father is dead. i’ve known that for years.”

“i suppose that was part of it. or rather, my intention’s to urge you to return and rule.”

“my mother is doing just fine as Regent.”

this time the Record-Keeper did sigh. she could see right through the Princess, just as she’d always been able to. the Princess’s desire to rule shone through even that simple statement. neither woman was being entirely honest with the other.

* * *

“KEEPER! THERE’S A BARD HERE TO SEE YOU!”

“send him in!”

the Record-Keeper pulled out a long scroll and readied her quill.

“hello!” the Bard chirped.

the Record-Keeper rolled her eyes. she was exhausted and had a sneaking suspicion about the subject of this particular serenade.

“this is a song about the Lost Princess.”

she held up a hand. “i’ve had about six of those this moon. and she _isn’t_ lost, i wish you all would stop _saying_ that. she knows exactly where she is. it just isn’t here.”

“i sang it for the Regent and _she_ liked it just fine. i think she liked it even more because it doesn’t portray her daughter as a hero.” he granted her a self-satisfied smirk.

“it… doesn’t?”

“not at all.”

she gestured for him to continue, reluctantly curious. besides, she really was obligated to notate every song that passed through the castle doors.

so then, the Bard sang.

and _then_ , the Record-Keeper cried.

each song about the Princess previous to this had been a testament to some grand deed of greatness, or some superhuman feat. the Record-Keeper could tell these were idealized versions of the woman she knew, but she couldn’t help keep falling for the hero in each new tune.

this one, however… the Bard sang of humanity. he sang of choices. he sang of, well, failure.

the Record-Keeper’s tears dotted the parchment as she wrote, head bent, avoiding the Bard’s gaze at all costs. when he finished, she set aside her scroll to dry, and dismissed him. she held her head in her hands for a long time before standing up.

she had a long journey to pack for.

* * *

“let me see your hands,” the Record-Keeper whispered, choosing not to push the issue and instead, explore another avenue.

the Princess took two steps closer, and placed her hands in the Record-Keeper’s.

“oh my. they’re…”

“i know.”

the Princess’s hands gleamed a dark red, and they were covered in some of the most grotesque callouses the Record-Keeper had seen.

“ointment?”

“i ran out.”

“mm.” the Record-Keeper pulled a tiny vial of salve from her satchel. she applied it gently, not speaking.

“i was—“ the Princess began.

“what?”

“i was reckless. idiotic. a fool. i should have stopped. i wasn’t ready.”

the Record-Keeper nodded.

“but i did defeat it.”

the Record-Keeper rolled her eyes. “i didn’t come to speak of the dragon.” even though that had been part of it, she admitted to herself.

“then why, _why?”_

“you were avoiding something at home. or looking for something here. _why_?” the Record-Keeper echoed the Princess’s tone nearly perfectly.

“i… i suppose i was avoiding you.” this statement seemed to surprise the Princess even as she said it. “which is connected to the other… the object of my quest.”

this hurt the Record-Keeper, but even still, she listened.

“i’ve been missing something. some piece of myself, some ability, i couldn’t describe or find. and i think… i think i have it now.”

“what is it?”

the Princess just grinned. “that’s for me to know.”

“don’t think i’m letting this go.”

* * *

can you defeat a dragon with just a sword? can you fend off the flames if you lose your armor and your dignity?

the Princess was exhausted. she knew she should just turn and flee back to the inn as fast as she could, and rest. she knew should attempt to defeat the dragon another day, but the potential cost of any more lives lost outweighed the benefits any sleep could give her.

her grip on her sword tightened. her shield had snapped in half, and she had lost her amour in a failed bet nearly six moons ago. And so, the only form of defense left to her was attack. for every few successful slashes, she had to dodge hundreds of bursts of flames, and she was beginning to slow.

_you’ve been a worthy opponent._

the dragon’s voice, ancient and primal, echoed inside her skull.

“what was that?” she whispered, taking a step back and letting her guard slip, just the slightest.

_you fight well. but you fight too hard._

ignoring the absolute _absurdity_ of the situation (everyone knows dragons can’t talk), the Princess said, “i don’t understand your meaning.”

it regarded her as one might regard a poisonous ant. dangerous, but too small to be any real concern. _stop. feel. what do you feel?_

she let out a humorless laugh. “i am tired.”

_as am i. would you like to continue this tomorrow?_

_“_ no! you’ll just, you’ll kill more women, you’ll burn down more villages, i can’t… i can’t stop.”

_i do not believe that is your only reason for pursuing me as closely as you have pursued me._

the Princess, again, felt her guard slip further. “i…i think… you have something i need. something i need to understand.”

_you are correct. now what do you feel?_

“i am... i’m scared.”

 _GOOD!_ the dragon sent forth another burst, and this time, the Princess only had time to hold up her sword in a vain attempt to have it catch the worst of the heat.

her world glowed red, yellow, white, and for the briefest of moments, _blue._

and then, there was nothing.

* * *

“i won’t tell you. anyway, thank you,” the Princess cleared her throat. “for the ointment, i mean.”

“you are most welcome,” the Record-Keeper answered. and then her breath caught in her throat, and she held back a sob. “i’ve missed you, esther.” it felt so right to say her name. she held it in her mouth and poured every hurt into each letter as it fell into the air.

“oh, bridget,” the Princess whispered, and took a step so close they were nearly heart to heart.

at that, the Record-Keeper’s eyes flew open. she was certain now. “tell me the truth: you didn’t defeat the dragon, you _became_ it.”

the Princess hesitated, and then smiled. “and you know this because…”

the Record-Keeper puffed a tiny breath of flame onto her finger, and smiled back. “because i am like you.”

the Princess was in awe, to say the least. “ _incredible_.”

“i thought i was the realm’s best kept secret,” laughed the Record-Keeper, “but now i see it’s not so uncommon.”

“pardon me,” replied the Princess, “but i am _quite_ uncommon.”

“what did the transference give you?” the Record-Keeper asked. “besides the obvious, i mean. for me, it was patience. especially with you. but i can wait eons now, for anything. for… anyone.”

the Princess acknowledged her with a slight nod, and said, “i suppose i must tell you now, mustn’t i?”

“mhm.”

“i… i gained _empathy_.”

“it makes sense,” the Record-Keeper shook her head, “makes perfect sense.”

“i can feel the whole kingdom now. i can feel every person and now…. before i was defending everyone at once to _prove_ i could be a good and worthy queen because i didn’t know how else to help my people…but it cost too much. too much of me. now i understand. i just need to listen.”

“and how has that worked out so far?”

“i’m listening to one of my subjects right now.”

“what do they want?”

the Princess tilted her head. “ _she_ wants me to come home. she wants me to rule. she wants… a kiss.”

“can that be arranged?” the Record-Keeper asked, her voice barely making a sound.

“perhaps.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks always to alex for beta'ing, and thank you as well to colin and sarah for looking it over <3


End file.
